Then, the site consoles me - “saying ‘I’m not interested’ is never easy” - and then gives me some choices – I always choose “Thanks for writing to me, but unfortunately, we’re just not a good match. Good luck in your search.” Then it gives me the option of choosing “specific feedback” about why we’re not a good match. I only made that mistake once.
Insulting My Political Beliefs Isn't Going to Change My Mind About You.
Crew Cut Republican Guy: He listed his political beliefs as conservative. And he was a former military, crew cut wearing, too old for me, unattractive man. When he sent me an email saying he’d like to talk to me, I sent him a polite “no, thanks.” I chose “Values” as the specific reason we weren’t a good match. Within a few hours, I was surprised to receive an email from him demanding “What is wrong with my values?!” I politely emailed him back: “Conservative politics? Doesn’t work for me. Good luck!” I thought that was the end of it. It wasn’t.
His next email said, “Ahh got ya! You are an Obama lover then that wants socialism. Makes sense!” Being the (now provoked) Obama lover I am, I responded:
“If by ‘Obama lover who wants Socialism’ you mean I believe in equal rights, compassion, governmental policies that might work, and thoughtful contemplation of issues - not reactionary fear-mongering, victim blaming, and dogged adherence to failed policies based on a ‘just pull yourself up by your bootstraps’ mentality, then yes.”
I may have overreacted. So did he. His next email to me was a tirade:
More fear-mongering is going on now with the economy by Obama then ever. Ever time he has a speech he incites fear by saying this is the worse ever,etc. when the facts are not true! He also makes a point to point out that he inherited this mess. If you go back and look Bush never once said that about Clinton after 9/11 or blamed the former administration. It shows just has low class Obama really is! If Obama and the liberals would have listened to Bush, McCain and the republicans 5 years ago, you would not have this subprime mess now! Take some time and read about the Community Reinvestment Act that both Bush and McCain tried to reform! New York Times story on Sept. 11, 2003: "The Bush administration today recommended the most significant regulatory overhaul in the housing finance industry since the savings and loan crisis a decade ago." Who stopped him? Congress, especially Democrats (lead by Rep. Barney Frank) with their deep financial and patronage ties to the two government-sponsored enterprises, Fannie and Freddie (do you know where they are both now?lol). McCain again tried for reform..."If Congress does not act," McCain said in 2005, "American taxpayers will continue to be exposed to the enormous risk that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac pose to the housing market, the overall financial system and the economy as a whole."
But Obama thought it was good policy to give loans to anyone and force banks to do that (he actually sued a bank in Chicago under the Community Reinvestment Act while a lawyer there). Then WOW we are all surprised when people can not afford to pay loans they should not have ever qualified for! Thank you former Community Organizer Obama and special thanks all the way back to Carter and Clinton!
Look back to 1981 and the mess that Reagan got from wonderful Jimmy Carter. Unemployment was higher then now, more jobs lost (over 10 million) and inflation was through the roof at 21%. What did Reagan do, gave the money back to the people by lowering payroll taxes immediately. Not giving a plan that calls for building roads in 2012 and building Frisbee parks in Texas!”
Hmmm. He’s clearly proven me wrong at this point. We’re obviously a perfect match. Great strategy. If I wanted to engage in an unpleasant political debate with a guy I'm not attracted to and who has no discernible qualities I might like, I wouldn't have sent him the "no thanks" in the first place. Or I would have called any number of guys I went to law school with. But that’s not my idea of a good date. And that’s what I’m on the site for – dating.
Maybe You’re Confused About What You Signed Up For And How It Works.
Pretentious “I see the real beauty in a woman” Guy: My profile piqued his interest (points for correct use of “pique.” No points for anything else.). His profile didn’t pique my interest, and his email turned me off. I sent a polite “no, thanks” with no reason specified. He emailed me back:
“what do you mean we ain't a good match? The system matched us perfectly with each other. Are you just being SUPERFICIAL or something?”Um, what? I mean, I looked at your profile and I’m not interested. Accusing me of being superficial (or really, any sort of accusation) is not a particularly effective way of getting me to change my mind. You’re not going to provoke me into being interested in you.
“we haven't EVEN MET, and your judging me solely BASED on WORDS??? WHATEVER...”
Wow. Really? That's what your online profile is FOR. You looked at my profile, thought I looked interesting (which I guess means you were being superficial since apparently that means judging me on my pictures and words...); I looked at yours and didn't feel the same way. If you don't like the way that works, maybe you shouldn't be online dating. Because that's what you signed up for. Not every woman you express interest in will reciprocate. That’s part of the deal – online and in real life.
Learn to accept rejection gracefully. Especially when you put yourself in the position to be faced with it.
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