I’m Secretly His Girlfriend.

So, Really Nice Guy goes on vacation with his friends. I’m planning not to see him again when he gets back. Then I get a 3:30 a.m. phone call from him. But it’s not from him. It’s from his friend, Drunk Guy. Drunk Guy leaves me a message.

A long message. A message about how much he’s heard about me. How he’s heard that me and Really Nice Guy are “together.” And he’s happy for us. And he can’t wait to meet me.

Oh no. I’m secretly his girlfriend. And it’s been a secret from me.

As mentioned above, I’ve been planning not to see him again when he gets back from vacation. This seems like it might complicate my plan a little.

I’ve been wondering what I owe him. Do I owe him anything? Since we’re not in a relationship, it’s not a break-up. Although now it seems like it might be a break-up…since secretly he thinks I’m his girlfriend.

I’m definitely not going to do it in person. Which leaves the phone. But we don’t talk on the phone. We text. Exclusively. Every date is arranged entirely by text message. This complicates things. Because “hey, I don’t want to go out with you anymore” seems wrong to text. Really wrong. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t even type that text. But if I call him, then I’m making a point of calling to say “no thanks.” Which makes it seem like a break-up. Which it’s not.

If I was a guy, I could just stop calling him. Can I get away with that? After how many dates is some sort of explanation required? Is an explanation always required?