No Spark.

Too Old For Me Guy: He calls me and asks me out for a second date. We decide to go to dinner and a movie. Dinner is at 5. The movie is at 7. I’m anticipating that I’ll be home by 10.

It’s shaping up to be a wild night already.

Dinner is pleasant. Except for all his references to things that happened in the 80’s. When he was an adult, and I was in elementary school. He was in college while I was watching Sesame Street.

Then we go to the movie. Now, as I have discussed before, sitting in a dark theater can be extremely nerve-wracking and my hyper-awareness with the guy sitting next to me can fully distract from the movie. Is he leaning toward me? Where is his hand? It makes me a fidgety mess. I can't even watch the movie, really, let alone enjoy it.

This is not the case at this movie. In fact, I could tell you every detail of this movie. Probably recite some of the dialogue. I could write a comprehensive critique of this film. As soon as the lights go down, I forget he’s sitting next to me. Completely forget. I’m totally unaware of his presence next to me. At some point, he leans over to whisper something to me, and I’m so startled, I actually jump. Because I forgot that he was sitting there next to me. Not good.

By 9:45, the movie’s over and we get into his car. “Do you want to grab a drink?” he asks. He doesn’t sound too enthusiastic, and I suspect it’s because it’s probably close to his bedtime. I politely decline and he drives me home.

He gets out of the car and walks me 10 feet to my door. Unnecessary, but nice. Then he makes some small talk about what a nice time he had and how we should do it again. I mumble “sure.” Then he leans forward and gives me a quick peck on the lips. Dry, closed mouth kiss. It’s like kissing my uncle. Only less romantic.

There’s no way I’m going out with him again. If there’s no spark, there’s no point.